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                                      ACT 2
                                      SCENE 11

               INT. REC CLUB - EVENING
                                      (LEN, TED)

               (19:00)

               LEN PUTS SALT ON HIS HAND. HE IS FEELING A LITTLE MORE
               PHILOSOPHICAL AFTER TWO BEERS AND THREE TEQUILA'S. 

                                   LEN
                         Man like you, you got the right
                         idea. Like elephants. After a bit
                         they just say to hell with it and
                         cruise off by themselves. No
                         family, no women, no ties. No
                         women, no cry.
                             (PUTS SALT ON HIS HAND;
                              LICKS IT; DOWNS THE
                              FOURTH)
                         Especially no women. The thing
                         between women and men is just a...
                         it's a qaugmire. It's a stinking
                         pit that sucks you down.

                                   TED
                         I didn't know that.

               LEN HITS THE LEMON.

                                   LEN 
                         Truth is, men operate better
                         without women.

                                   TED
                         Some of us don't really have a
                         choice.
                             (BEAT)
                         It can be a little lonely, you
                         know.

                                   LEN
                         What does lonely mean? It means
                         alone. I'll have another of those
                         lagers.

                                   TED
                         Sure.

                                   LEN
                         Women bring men down. And if you
                         alone, you don't have the trouble. 
                             (BEAT)
                         You see what I'm doing? You know
                         what I'm doing here? You gotto
                         like, use the difficulty.

                                   TED
                         Use the difficulty?

                                   LEN
                         Ja. I'm using the difficulty. I'm
                         turning a situation to my
                         advantage. Michael Caine said that.
                         Use the difficulty.

                                   TED
                             (BEAT)
                         Use it to do what?

                                   LEN
                         Listen, Caine was rehearsing a play
                         and he couldn't get onto to stage
                         because the actors were doing this
                         improvised fight that got a bit
                         wild. And they threw some furniture
                         in front of the door. Where Caine
                         was meant to come in. So the
                         director asks him where he is. And
                         he says: I can't get in, cause
                         there's a chair in the way.

                                   TED
                         Oh.
                             (BEAT)
                         I see.

                                   LEN
                         And the director says to him: use
                         the difficulty. If you fall over
                         the chair, it's funny. If you
                         struggle with it, it's drama.
                             (BEAT)
                         You take an obstacle... and you
                         turn it into a launch pad.

               A LONG SILENCE.

                                   TED
                         I wonder if I could do that with
                         Mr. Ferreria. He always says he
                         can't deliver the chuck on
                         Wednesday morning because it's too
                         busy.
                             (BEAT)
                         But if he used the difficulty...
                         maybe... he could drop off a load
                         here on the way to Stilfontein.

                                   LEN
                         Exactly.
                             (BEAT)
                         Thing about women is, you can't
                         rely on them. The female animal is
                         not constant. It says one thing and
                         it does another. They say they're
                         happy, they start crying. Say they
                         can't have sex, it's too
                         emotional...
                             (BEAT; GRIM)
                         Meanwhile.

                                   TED
                             (LONG BEAT)
                         Sex can be a very destructive force
                         you know.
                             (BEAT)
                         I haven't had sex since 1984. I
                         think it was 1984. It was the year
                         of the Rubicon speech.
                             (BEAT)
                         To tell the truth, it's not the sex
                         I miss. I always thought it was
                         over-rated. Like one day cricket.
                         There's too much over-excitement.
                             (BEAT)
                         And it leaves the stadium in such a
                         mess afterwards.

                                   LEN
                         Mess. A qaugmire. A stinking pit
                         that sucks you in.

                                   TED
                             (BEAT)
                         What?

                                   LEN
                         The whole thing.

                                   TED
                         Oh.
                             (BEAT)
                         In fact, I don't miss sex at all.
                             (BEAT)
                         I just miss having someone that you
                         can talk to in the evenings.

               OUT ON THE SILENCE AS TED THOUGHTFULLY BEGINS TO POLISH SOME
               GLASSES.

                                                        END OF SCENE 11
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