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MARFAM'S ONLINE NEWSLETTER - APRIL 2004

Marriage and Family Life Renewal Ministry - Johannesburg , South Africa.

Also see our website http://homefun.www.icon.co.za updated regularly for more detailed information about MARFAM's ministry and available resources in the local Church. Contact us at our new email address marfam@icon.co.za

What are you doing to strengthen family life during this INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF THE FAMILY?
REQUEST: BEFRIEND THE FAMILY! MARFAM has been promoting the cause of family life for nearly 10 years. To continue this work we need your financial support, to operate, produce the publications, including this monthly enewsletter and maintain our website. You can advertise your company or project on the website, enewsletter or various publications or send a donation to P.O.Box 2881 , Randburg 2125. South Africa . Every rand, dollar or euro helps to strengthen families somewhere, somehow.


CONTENTS_

— A FAMILY FRIENDLY EASTER
— MARFAM NEWS
— INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF THE FAMILY 2004
— SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK NEWS
— NOTICES

A FAMILY FRIENDLY EASTER

In this International Year of the Family with our theme of Parenting, a labour of love I have been considering how parents can best make Easter a family-friendly season. Liturgically, in my view, it is not the most family-friendly of Church celebrations. Everyone loves Easter eggs and kids might enjoy being palm-wavers in a good Palm Sunday procession if the parish has one, but the reading of the Passion is very long and the various services during Holy Week, although beautiful and meaningful when understood, can be hard going. So how can we get the best out by putting the best we can in?

I believe thinking things through with sensitivity to one's family and its particular needs can be a good start. Being able to explain the various services also helps.

Although they are very popular in many parishes, for some time I have felt uneasy about paschal meals. What is their real purpose? They are not liturgical, sometimes not even appropriately devotional for the time of Holy Week and it bothers me that many of those who attend the paschal meal do not attend the true commemoration of the Last Supper on Maundy Thursday. For me a simple family prayer meal possibly incorporating a time of reconciliation, at home or with other families or members of a faith sharing group could be more meaningful.

Most basic for families on Good Friday is eating hot cross buns and praying the Stations of the Cross. On this day or in fact at other times during Lent a text can be used that is appropriate for families with children, of whatever age. A simple Veneration of the Cross with various prayers can be done at home with little ones.

For the Easter vigil the fire and the lighting of candles creates a special atmosphere and then remembering our baptism and renewing our baptismal promises is good for all. At home again a discussion around our baptism and our godparents and looking at old baby photos can be fun. In some of our black parishes the vigil does last all night, with much prayer and praising and the atmosphere indicates a true Easter spirit. But not everyone is comfortable with everyone else's way of worship and with a much greater awareness of inculturation the opportunity exists to learn from one another and share ideas.

Easter is not Easter without Easter eggs and a family Easter egg hunt. Eggs have the significance of highlighting new life but some of the other chocolate goodies smack purely of commercialism. But then again they do bring families together, ideally to eat roast lamb of course, unfortunately a luxury quite unobtainable for many.

Rituals and symbols are significant but should focus us on Easter as primarily a spiritual season. What we commemorate is the passion, death and resurrection of Jesus, the essence of our Christian faith, celebrated with variations by Catholics and other Christians. We need to find ways as family members, often of different denominations, to get in touch with this awesome spiritual reality. Jesus lived and died for each of us, he showed us the way to live, he is risen and continues to be with us, each one of us, each family and he invites and challenges us to follow the painful way of the cross and the joy of resurrection, of reconciliation and ongoing commitment to love and cherish one another in his name. That really does demand commitment and dedication, not an escape from our own cross into a spiritual nirvana. That is the real challenge in making Easter a family-friendly one. I pray for wisdom and courage to travel the route.

And I feel sad that the movie The Passion of the Christ which I have just watched with a friend, did little to contribute to a really personal Easter journey. It seemed strangely unreal, unhuman, unspiritual even, reminding me more than anything of the depth of “man's inhumanity to man.”

The Day of Resurrection is followed here in South Africa soon after by the 3 rd democratic election in our new dispensation. Evidence of “man's inhumanity to man” remains here too, and the bishops of our country call us all to “rise from our mats” and play our part, to work and pray that the miracle of liberation we have already witnessed will continue.

Toni Rowland



MARFAM NEWS.

See the website mentioned above for Family Lenten calendar, a special Easter story for children and some thoughts on “Speaking with children about Christ's Passion” relevant at this time when the movie of the Passion is creating such a stir.

LENT AND EASTER AND THE FAMILY. A simple text for Stations of the Cross for Families is available from us for use in parishes, small Christian communities and families. In English, Zulu and Sesotho.

The No 2 issue of MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIVING magazine for months April – June is now available. Articles of interest address Easter Joy and freedom, motherhood and fatherhood, news of Boys Town SA and an article on Domestic Violence from the SACBC Parliamentary Liason Office.

 

INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF THE FAMILY 2004.

International Family Day May 15 th . SA National Family Day, Easter Monday 12 th April.

The SA Government held the launch of the International Year of the Family on 19 th March in Cape Town , the seat of parliament. Much support and interest will hopefully be generated in the work of strengthening families as a result.

The UN body responsible for furthering the cause of family matters is the Commission for Social Development.

New York , 4 December 2003 - Secretary-General's message on the launch of the observance of the tenth anniversary of the International Year of the Family (2004)
While families have always been the essential social unit in all societies, the observance of the International Year of the Family in 1994 drew worldwide attention to the issue as a fundamental issue of policy. Governments and actors at all levels - local, national, regional and global - were encouraged to support the well-being of families through a range of policies, programmes and strategies. Ten years later, it is time to take stock, and to determine whether the situation of families has improved. This is not necessarily something that can be done at a global level, since the situation of families varies so greatly from country to country. Thus, during this anniversary year, I urge Governments at local and national levels to assess gains, setbacks and obstacles, and to consider what more can be done on issues of direct concern to families, such as poverty, the spread of HIV/AIDS, migration and the ageing of societies. The Secretariat, for its part, has undertaken a study on the situation of families in all regions of the world. Families themselves play a vital role in our work for development and peace. It is my hope that the observance of the tenth anniversary of the International Year will be an occasion when all partners -- Governments, the UN system, non-governmental organizations and private enterprises - come together, reaffirm global commitment to the well-being of families, and work with determination towards that vital goal.

The VIENNA  NGO  COMMITTEE  ON  THE  FAMILY www.viennafamilycommittee.org publishes a newsletter, and liases with the UN and with NGOs across the world.

The theme for the year involves the positive contributions of civil society towards the well-being of families and a study is being conducted. A conference will be held in May with the subject Civil Society Networking –interactive-internet forums.

Further info can be gathered on www.10yearsiyf.org .

 

 

SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK NEWS

What is happening in family ministry in Southern Africa ? A main vehicle for strengthening parenting is the 2004 Family Calendar and the brief monthly reflections available in English on the MARFAM website and in local languages, Afrikaans, Zulu, Sesotho, Tswana and Pedi on request ideally by email.

Much of this month I was away from home invited by various dioceses and groups to assist towards the establishing of a general family portfolio. Interesting and challenging times were had by us all. A particular challenge is the question of language. English is the lingua franca in the country but many are not conversant with it. Although “Strengthening family life in the home” is a priority for the whole region served by the SA Catholic bishops different dioceses and groups e.g. women's groups also have their own agenda and priorities. While last month I reported on organizations with a specific family apostolate some of the other groupings and sodalities e.g. The Women of St Anne, Sacred Heart Sodality and the lay associates of various religious orders e.g. Holy Family and Franciscans and such organizations as CLC, i.e. Christian Life Communities can also make great contributions to supporting and strengthening families by including a stronger family focus rather than an individual or women's perspective.

The needs of single parents have emerged regularly as an area of concern and this is being investigated at present. Suzanne Duncan of the Cape Town Archdiocese is promoting a Basic Parenting programme while Boys Town SA is offering help to parents and schools by promoting its CommonSense Parenting and Classroom management programmes.

As mentioned previously as coordinator of the Family Life Desk I am available to give talks, workshops or retreats on aspects of family life but the primary focus for the year is the theme of parenting with the various monthly sub-themes. Referrals are also made to specialist agencies. Further details on the MARFAM website.

 

NOTICES.

Retrouvaille weekend Johannesburg 30 April – 2 May 2004 . Paddy 787 5515

Relationship enhancement course, Recognise - Reconnect – Refocus. Clare Thorogood, clinical psychologist 082 855 0511

The wellknown Alpha team are now also offering Marriage Alpha. Contact details available.

 

TAILPIECE,

A catechist asked her little children as they were on the Way to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."